An attempted collect on the regulation of bodily functions

Why the need for a collect on the regulation of bodily functions?

It’s because people like me do actually pray—often with some fervour—about the bodily functions of the children for whom they are responsible. That’s right, we pray about the absence, presence, frequency, infrequency, texture, colour and quantity of poo. We do it mostly because such things can flag a problem in young children—especially when they are only a few weeks old (at least that’s why I pray about such things; others may have different reasons).

It’s because praying about such things is completely natural for a Christian. Not only is God interested in the ‘small’ things in our lives, he is eminently competent to resolve such issues, having made us and therefore being capable of ‘regulating’ us, and/or giving us the wisdom to know when to go for medical help. Unlike some medical professionals, he never communicates that we’ve wasted his precious time by mentioning to him our concerns—even about poo.

It’s because if Cranmer had had the leisure, and wasn’t busy trying to manage a certain megalomaniac monarch while helping reform England, he may well have extended his prayer book to include miscellaneous prayers for more occasions. And maybe he’d have included a prayer about such matters.

Finally, it’s because Cranmer’s collects always seem to demonstrate the utter validity of our prayers for earthly concerns, and yet prompt us to think too about things from an eternal perspective. So even though I haven’t really prayed the collect below, the exercise of writing it has helped me to remember that there are more significant things to desire and pray for in my boys than merely the regulation of their bodily functions (as important as this might be for their health). More significant are the kind of people they are and are becoming, and that they so “pass through things temporal that they finally lose not things eternal”.

The collect:

Almighty God, the giver of all life, who has formed and known us from our earliest moment, grant, we beseech thee, the proper regulation of bodily functions in this, thy little one. In your mercy, so prosper his life that he may grow in strength and wisdom, and may by your grace know you, whom to know is life eternal, through Christ Jesus our Lord and for his glory.

2 thoughts on “An attempted collect on the regulation of bodily functions

  1. I love the idea, and your execution of it!  However I do think some mothers tend to over-focus on their child’s digestive output, shall we say, at the expense of looking at the child’s eyes, mood, behaviour and so on.  So we’ll have to add something about maternal perceptions as well!

  2. Martin Luther was probably the first theologian in the history of the church to have changed nappies. And he wrote this:

    Now observe that when that clever harlot, our natural reason… , takes a look at married life, she turns up her nose and says, “Alas, must I rock the baby, change its nappies, make its bed, smell its stench, stay up nights with it, take care of it when it cries, heal its rashes and sores… ?

    What then does Christian faith say to this? It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant, distasteful, and despised duties in the Spirit, and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval as with the costliest gold and jewels. It says, O God, because I am certain that thou hast created me as a man and hast from my body begotten this child, I also know for a certainty that it meets with thy perfect pleasure. I confess to thee that I am not worthy to rock the little babe or change its nappies, or to be entrusted with the care of the child and its mother. How is it that I, without any merit, have come to this distinction of being certain that I am serving thy creature and thy most precious will? O how gladly will I do so, though the duties should be even more insignificant and despised. Neither frost nor heat, neither drudgery nor labor, will distress or dissuade me, for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in thy sight…

    God, with all his angels and creatures is smiling—not because the father is changing nappies, but because he is doing so in Christian faith.

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