I began a series last Thursday about the process I’ve been through in writing an evangelistic talk on the topic of sex. We started off by thinking a bit about the secular story of sex. But it occurred to me fairly early on that Christians have a problem when it comes to communicating about their moral worldview. Everybody thinks that we just want to live back in the 1950s.
I’m not sure that the 1950s was a more particularly moral time in history than the 2000s. But the problem is that the Christian sexual ethic keeps being associated with a particular attitude involving women wearing yellow polka dot dresses. My own feeling is that the relative social conservatism of the 1950s was a hangover of Christian morality, without the heart.
What I mean is that Christian teaching and thinking about right and wrong has played a massive part in our past. But as successive generations after the enlightenment walked further and further away from the gospel, it took a lot longer to walk away from the underlying social mores. We were outwardly Christianized without really understanding the heart of the Christian worldview.
What all of that means is that we need to work hard in order to gain a hearing. I don’t want people to put me in the 1950s basket as an excuse not to listen to God’s plan for sex and sexuality, laid down at the creation of the world. Unfortunately, in our broken world, the 1950s isn’t the only thing that the Christian worldview is in danger of being associated with. So in my talk, after introducing the idea of the western secular story of sex, I set out up front to dispel two myths about Christian morality. Here’s what I said:
Before we go too much further in thinking about the secular view of sex, I want to dispel two myths. The first is that all Christians want to live in the 1950s, which was the golden age of western civilization. Can I say that I love technology: I love computer games, I love being able to communicate with friends on the other side of the world, I love being able to have a better recording studio in my bedroom than any of The Beatles ever dreamed of having. I love living in a multicultural world, and I’m glad that my daughter is growing up in a world where she has choices that, three generations ago, she wouldn’t have had. And I’m profoundly thankful to God for the advances in medical technology that have given life and a better quality of life to so many.
I have no desire to return to the 1950s—or the 1600s, for that matter. I’m very happy living in the noughties. However, I do think that the modern story of sex has sold us a lie. But back to that shortly.
Secondly, I want to say up front that there have been all sorts of people who have called themselves Christians—people who have acted as priests and others with authority within churches who have had a profoundly screwed up understanding of sex. I don’t want to defend all the ideas about sex that anyone who has ever called themselves Christian has ever had. If people who call themselves Christian have done the wrong thing, then they need to be dealt with appropriately—and that doesn’t mean sweeping it under the carpet.
But I do want to say this: there is a big distinction between what many who claim to be Christian have to say about sex and what God thinks about sex.
Does this do enough to dispel the myths? Are there other misconceptions that need to be cleared away so that people can hear what the Bible is actually saying? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
This was helpful Paul.
I hadn’t actually considered this before – that the people around us see our views on sexuality, for example, as 1950’s morality. But it would make sense. They then consider themselves to be enlightened and freed up in their views, while we are ‘stuck in the past’, with our ‘social conservatism’ – making it harder for us to get heard, as you put it.
They may even feel sorry for us!
Hi Grimmo,
Your introduction is helpfully balanced and causes the hearer to analyse the bias and influence with which they have arrived. The only possible improvement I might suggest is if there is a way of introducing the topic of the worlds view of sex compared to God’s by creating a tension through the biblical text.
The first thought in my mind is 1 Corinthians 7:1 which probably summarises the “killjoy” view of God that many non-Christians hold. This could then be followed by your introduction to the topic from the last two posts, and then back into 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 as the means of hopefully providing a surprising angle to the topic of sex. Namely, that God wants you to have it. Often. (Though in the right circumstances.)
Perhaps though this is just personal preference of getting the Bible out there front and centre and wouldn’t work with the rest of the talk.
Maybe “screwed up” isn’t the best choice of words there. I suggest “twisted” or “perverted”; you seem to mean the assault of children by clergy, but that’s not the only wrong view of sexuality that clergy have had!
Hi Ellen,
I agree with you completely. My comment was meant to be a nod towards pedophilia but not restricted to that. For example, I am sure that enforced celibacy as an expression of holiness is not a good idea. (Not to mention that there have been ages where celibacy has been preached and practiced in public while maintaining mistresses on the side). Maybe I should add another sentence to make it clearer.
Point taken about the wording.
Hi,
I think this is great. I do hope you stick to a strong word if you replace “screwed up”. I felt it reinforced that you aren’t stuck in the 1950s because it’s kind of unexpected (but very appropriate)!
I don’t know if you would cover this in this talk but I’d love to hear some thoughts about how Christians can helpfully talk about sex. Secular culture is very open (& graphic) when discussing sex which is something that I am not comfortable with but then I feel like a prude. I am sure there is a middle ground, where it can be talked about helpfully and appropriately while maintaining the intimacy and privacy of the relationship. I try to consider “would I be happy if my husband was saying this about me or us to his friends?” but it can be hard to know how to respond to some of the things that are said. Hmm…think this might be off topic having re-read, this is an evangeliSTIC talk not evangeliCAL talk…I’ll leave it here in case anyone is interested in picking it up…