Unity in the gathering or ‘adults only’ church?

Meeting together is extremely important to Christians. It reflects the wonderful truth that God’s gospel breaks down barriers. When Christians gather around God’s word, all kinds of people rub shoulders who, but for the gospel, wouldn’t be seen dead together. We do, however, allow ourselves one major exception: rather than listening to God’s word together, one group of people —the children—are typically taken out of the meeting to be taught separately. This seems to keep everyone—adults and children—happy, and allows each person to be taught at an appropriate level.

Age-appropriate teaching is great. But is it biblically appropriate for children to be taught separately from adults during the main gathering of God’s people? I want to challenge us to rethink the relatively recent practice of taking children out of the meeting, and question whether, in the long run, it really helps both adults and children. Chiefly, I would like to highlight from God’s word the importance of the unity of the gathering of God’s people, but we shall also touch on the development of children’s Sunday school. I will finish by looking at some of the practical issues that come into play when children stay with us in church throughout the service.

Unity in the gathering of God’s people

First and foremost, the unity of God’s people is a witness to the powers in the heavenly places and to unbelievers around us. In Ephesians, Paul explains God’s great plan to unite everything under Christ (1:9-10). In line with that plan, God has united Jew and Gentile, removing “the dividing wall of hostility” (2:14) and building them together into a holy dwelling place for God by his Spirit (2:21-22). God’s purpose in this great uniting plan is spelled out thus: “so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places” (3:10). In the church or gathering of God’s diverse people—in God’s amazing ability to bring together very different people—his wisdom is being made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. In addition, in John 17, Jesus prays that believers might be one—that we might be brought to perfect unity so that “the [unbelieving] world may know that you sent me” (John 17:23). Thus it is absolutely right for us to take our ‘togetherness’ seriously. It is a witness to the watching universe and the watching world.

Now, it would be fair to say that unity is not just a matter of being in the same room as others, but of oneness of hearts and minds with the aim of glorifying God. Yet this fundamental unity does need to be given expression in the church—by which we mean supremely the gathering. As Mark Dever puts it:

The Greek word for “church” is ekklesia, which in the New Testament also refers to a single gathering of people who are not the people of God. By definition and by use, an ekklesia is a corporate singularity—one group of people who are all in the same place at the same time.¹

As Paul applies God’s great uniting plan, he points out that unity will not be easy to maintain. In our struggle to keep all the generations together at church, we have found Ephesians 4:2-3 both challenging and comforting: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (NIV).²

Given the importance of the unity of God’s church in terms of its witness to the universe and the world around us, should we not be very wary of breaking it up? Given that God’s plan in the church is to unite, are we not in danger of simply following the world’s patterns in rupturing the gathering?

This thinking is supported by the observation that, in both Testaments, the various manifestations of church are multigenerational. Children were present at the gathering at Mount Sinai, the original ‘church in the wilderness’ (so called in Deuteronomy 9:10, 18:16; cf. Acts 7:38). Their presence is noted at the great renewal of the covenant before entering the land (Deut 29:10-11). Under the terms of the covenant, the presence of children was required at the reading of the law every seven years (Deut 31:10-13; Josh 8:33). We should notice the central importance of collectively listening to the word in these church gatherings, challenging our tendency to believe that it is all right to take the children out for the sermon as long as they are in for the rest. During the Feast of Weeks and Feast of Booths, the people were commanded to rejoice with children (Deut 16:10-14)—an instruction Elkanah obeyed in 1 Samuel 1 (cf. 2 Chr 20:5ff—especially v. 13—and Neh 12:43).

In the New Testament, children were often around when Jesus was teaching (e.g. Matt 14:21, 15:38, 18:3, 19:13, 21:15). In both Ephesians (6:1) and Colossians (3:20), children are addressed directly by Paul, who assumed that they would be present when the church read the letter. Peter O’Brien, commenting on Ephesians 6:1, observes,

It is obvious from these exhortations that the apostle thinks of local congregations as consisting of whole families who come together not only to praise God but also to hear his word addressed to them. As the household tables are read out, children, too, would learn of their own Christian duties as well as those of other family members.³

Why was it so important to keep the generations together in these meetings? In addition to God’s desire to have a united people, and the fact that it is a witness to the universe and the world, the Bible gives other reasons.

1. Fear of the Lord

Firstly, it helps children hear God’s word and fear the Lord alongside their families. In Deuteronomy 31:12-13, children are instructed to listen with their families so that they can hear the law and learn to fear the Lord. If children are removed from the adults, there is the temptation to try to make the experience as ‘fun’ as possible, so that the children are given a positive (though not necessarily correct) experience of church. But will that teach them the fear of God? As John and Noël Piper comment, “There is a sense of solemnity and awe which children should experience in the presence of God. This is not likely to happen in children’s church.”⁴

Furthermore, practically, if the whole family has listened to the same sermon together, it is easier for them to talk about it over lunch, rather than to try to get to the bottom of several different Sunday school classes. It is easier to encourage each other when we have listened to God’s word together.

2. Parental instruction

Secondly, keeping children in church facilitates parental instruction. In Exodus 12:24-27, fathers are told to celebrate the Passover with their families. It is expected that their children will ask what it means, providing the cue for fathers to instruct them. The Passover was, of course, a family affair, but it can still teach us about the advantages of intergenerational engagement with God. Having our children in the gathering with us is a great opportunity to of the week. This is surely a good thing, since parents are responsible for the spiritual nurture of their children (Deut 6:7; Prov 1:8; Eph 6:4; 1 Tim 3:4-5). In our family, we read the Bible passage before going to church, which means that during the service, we can explain the various parts of the service and help the younger children follow the Bible reading and sermon.

This model of church undoubtedly works better when the parents want to train their children, rather than just keep them quiet while they listen to the sermon. Should we not face up to the danger that parents subconsciously subcontract their main teaching role to Sunday school teachers, never really picking it up again during the week?

Keeping children in the meeting also obviates a further problem—that of how and when to reintegrate our kids during their adolescent or early adult years. Often the answer is running a youth-style evening service. But again, that undermines the unity of the church gathering, and can lead to the idea that church is just for me and my tastes. It seems to me that the biblical answer is to avoid taking them out in the first place and have them trained by their parents.

3. Adult humility

Thirdly, keeping children in church teaches adults humility. When the disciples seek to stop children coming to Jesus, he takes the child and reminds them that “to such belongs the kingdom of God” (Mark 10:14). Jesus’ point is that children being brought to him should be a lesson to us that it is not by our intellect, brilliance or adultness that we enter the kingdom, but by accepting God’s gift. Have we fallen into the danger of turning church into an ‘adults only’ experience? Spurgeon, for one, would not approve: “I tell you, in God’s sight he is no preacher who does not care for the children. There should be at least a part of every sermon and service that will suit the little ones.”⁵

A brief historical note

It’s worth noting that morning Sunday school for Christian kids is a relatively recent innovation. Afternoon Sunday schools started in the late 1700s when Robert Raikes wanted to provide Christian education for non-churched children. It occurred separately from the main morning church meeting. Sunday schools moved to the morning as recently as the 1950s and 60s—partly in the hope that more unchurched children would be linked up with church, and partly because widespread car ownership meant that there were competing attractions in the afternoon. Only then did the practice of taking Christian kids out of the main church meeting in order to be taught separately begin. (One senior saint I spoke to recently remembers being in church throughout the morning service from childhood, and, from his late teenage years, teaching at the afternoon Sunday school before going to the evening service!)

Given that teaching children separately during the main church meeting is a relatively recent practice, is it wise to continue it?

Objections

Keeping children in church raises many objections of a practical kind. Let’s consider some of the most important.

“It’s alien to our culture!”

The uniting power of the gospel is alien to our culture, whether it unites different races or different generations. So it is not surprising that we find it hard.

“Children learn better in age-appropriate groups.”

There is a role for age-appropriate groups, but they can happen at a different time, and children don’t learn everything in age-appropriate groups. They cannot learn from the example of their parents. They cannot learn that church is about serving others, and yielding my tastes and likes to others, rather than expecting everything to be tailor-made for me. That may be why it is often hard to integrate older children back into a ‘normal’ service. Also, from our experience, I think we tend to underestimate children’s abilities to learn in a mixed-generational setting. It is true that, in the initial stages, some children switch off, because they aren’t used to mixed-age learning. However, at our church, since introducing a kids’ talk and a reward system to encourage the children to answer our ‘kids’ questions’, their engagement and answering has been good.

“Children find it boring.”

We must keep working at making services accessible to children without turning them into children’s services. Listen to Luther:

When I preach, I sink myself deep down. I regard neither doctors nor magistrates, of whom are here in this church above forty; but I have an eye to the multitude of young people, children, and servants, of whom are more than two thousand.⁶

We also need to train our children to see church as important, even if it isn’t ‘fun’ (like eating vegetables and going to the dentist!)

“Children are distracting!”

Part of being a diverse, united body means there must be some give and take. Adults have to cope with some background noise; children have to be encouraged by their parents that part of their service to others means they need to be quieter. We have a creche for under-3s when they need it.

“Outsiders find it difficult!”

Church must be accessible to outsiders, and we should explain what we are doing, but the presence of outsiders does not mean that we should change anything biblical. Thus we expect them to be present when we sing, listen to sermons and pray. We believe that these activities are important, so we do them regardless of what the outsider thinks. In fact, the biblical material we have considered above shows that our witness is enhanced by our unity.

In practice

At our church, we run Sunday school classes at 10 am, including one for adults. (This is also good for adults for whom attendance at mid-week groups is hard.) At 10:45, we break for coffee. Our main meeting starts at 11:15 am. Originally we aimed to keep this to 45 minutes, with the sermon lasting 20 minutes—the latter targeting mainly the adults, with written questions for the children. Recently, we have added a children’s talk to introduce the sermon and, as people have grown more accustomed to the format, the sermon has lengthened to 25 minutes. The noisier under-3s can go out for the sermon.

Instead of sending children out for Sunday school, we should keep them in with us throughout the main weekly church gathering. If we do, we take the unity of God’s church seriously, with all its implications for the powers in the heavenly realms and the watching world around us; we reflect the pattern of church in the Bible and history; and we promote the training of children by their parents.