What I’m about to say about evangelism is so obvious, so basic, so humdrum and down-to-earth that I almost feel like not saying it. It feels like a waste of a blog post. But even though it’s so obvious, it’s something that I have only just realized after years and years. And I suspect (and in fact, I know) that lots of other people are in the same boat.
I’ll assume that you, like me, believe that people need to saved from hell into eternal life; that God is in the business of saving people by bringing them the gospel of Jesus Christ; that this gospel is usually spoken by Christians in a context of relationship; and that it is quite likely that there are people in your neighbourhood (work, school, street, etc.) with whom you potentially could share, or are even now sharing, this gospel. I hope that you are praying for some of these people too.
Okay, so what stops us from sharing the gospel with them?
There are all sorts of things: fear of losing relationship; fear of not knowing what to say; lack of love; ‘busyness’, that 21st-century manifestation of greed and idolatry. If any of these things are true for us, we need to repent and ask God to forgive and change us.
But there’s also something else—something blindingly obvious—that might be stopping you. Sometimes we just don’t realize what the next thing to do is.
For example, there’s this dad of one of my kids’ school friends. I’ve got to know him a bit through school and sport connections. We’ve talked a bit, but haven’t really got around to Jesus yet. But now, for timetable reasons, I don’t have natural opportunities to talk with him for more than about five minutes per week. What’s the next thing to do in this relationship?
I thought that the next thing I needed to do in this relationship was to speak more clearly about Jesus. But then I realized that, actually, I couldn’t easily speak about Jesus without opportunities to have longer conversations with him. So the next thing to do (or so I thought) was to invite his kids around so the kids could play and we could get to know them better. But I haven’t done it yet. Why not? Because (and here’s the blindingly obvious bit) I can’t invite them around until my wife and I have agreed on some possible dates. I see him for five minutes a week, and every time I see him, I fail to invite his family around because I don’t actually have a specific invitation to make. But instead of doing something about it, I just keep feeling vaguely guilty about not doing anything.
The actual, tangible next thing to do for this relationship is to talk with my wife about possible dates to have him and his family around. Then I have to write the dates on a piece of paper. Then I can ask them to come around. If they say yes, we might get to know them better. Then there might be further opportunities to speak about Jesus. And God might use these opportunities to save him and his family. My fear and busyness and lack of love may be things I have to deal with along the line. But right now, what I actually have to do is get out the diary and have a chat with my wife.
This general principle (of asking “What’s the next thing to do?”) is one of the blindingly obvious yet seldom practiced insights of management gurus who make millions each year teaching it to executives. I offer it to you for free. Why don’t you ask the question “What’s the actual, tangible next thing to do in this relationship?” whenever you pray for your various friends and family members? Take little, clear, obvious, but intentional steps in your relationships. This, God-willing, will have massive cumulative effects for their salvation and for God’s glory.
Sounds like you might need to improve the whole spouse-diary thing too, Lionel!
Hey Lionel,
Gee you Reformed-Evangelical mob carry around a heavy burden of responsibility for effecting the salvific work of Pauline/Augustinian doctrine! Presumably you must sweat over interactions with all individuals you know, wondering if they have been “saved from hell to eternal life”. J-P Satre called this the ‘nausea’ or ‘agony’ of existence.
Best of luck resolving the existential crises you face (or is it an essentialist crisis?)
Cheers.
Hi Stephen, the key word in your comment is “presumably”: you’ve made lots of presumptions! If only I and my “mob” loved individuals as much as Paul did (1 Cor 11:1). Paul’s own doctrine of God’s saving work didn’t prevent him from feeling the daily pressure of anxiety for all the churches, weakness at the weakness of others and indignation at the failings of others (2 Cor 11:28-29), while he strove to do everything he could for the salvation of others (1 Cor 10:33). Alas, my own angst pales to nothing in comparison with the Pauline application of his doctrine. I can’t even get my diary sorted out.
Hi Lionel,
I sympathize with your diary problems. I used to be the Keeper of the Diary in our household, until my husband complained that he never knew what was going on. So we switched to Google Calendar and now we both manage it—in consultation with each other, of course, but now it’s not just one of us who is Keeper of the Diary.
Sure, having it all in electronic form has its drawbacks in that it’s not hugely portable (although we’ve worked out how to sync it with iCal and then with our mobile phones), things still get left out, you can’t access it without electricity. But we’ve found that the pros (e.g. multiple calendars: one for me, one for him, one for both of us, one for work, one for birthdays and anniversaries, one to keep track of the movements of our jetsetting extended family) by far outweigh the cons.
Another thing that has helped us is that we tend to use the same communication technologies to talk to each other. It helps that we’re both quite tech-savvy and tend to be on the computer a lot (for work and otherwise). So we think, “Oh, I must go talk to [the other person] about that”; we just do it now—whether through IM, email, SMS, Twitter, etc.
All of this may be of no use to you! But if provides you a way out of your problem and gets you onto the next step, all glory to God!
The ECOM guys have an excellent list of the next stage of the conversation to have with your friend.
For example have we shared something personal? Do they know I am a Christian? Have we had a discussion about religious / moral things?
Maybe someone could put up the list of steps?
Lionel,
Yes, quite. Paul’s existential ‘agony’ is out there for all to read in the letters attributed to him. I would give my left one to have been a fly on the wall in Athens when he engaged with the Stoics and Epicureans when these sorts of issues would have inevtably arisen.
Cheers
Hi Lionel,
What topic is it you are trying to make and people are commenting on? Existentialism? Diaries? I mistakenly thought the topic was hindrances in being deliberate and strategic in loving our neighbours, especially taking that first step. The management gurus would say you need to clarify your goal first, then work out the steps to get there. And there is more than one way to skin a cat – relying on your wife’s diary is only one way to meet your goal. We can love our neighbour in 100 ways. I am always telling my staff that I believe God gave each of us a brain, and he means us to use it! When we do, lots of ideas pop out. It is a very exciting thing to do. Loving our neighbour involves more than telling them the Gospel, but it should never involve less.
Hi Joe,
You’re almost correct that the point I was trying to make was about “hindrances in being deliberate and strategic in loving our neighbours, especially taking that first step”. However, my point was even more specific; I was focussing here on telling the gospel (one primary act of love). I agree entirely that loving our neighbour involves more than this, but I wasn’t particularly discussing the issue of “love” more generally in this post.
As often happens with blog posts, the discussion has moved into other unexpected areas. As I read it, Stephen has decided to use my post as an opportunity to make an ironical quip at what he sees as the psychological and philosophical contradictions in the kind of reformed evangelicalism I represent. I’ve responded in a similarly ironical yet serious manner by defending my view from the writings of Paul. Stephen has, again ironically, attempted to attribute the same kind of psychological and philosophical contradictions to Paul himself.
Karen has given some helpful advice about diary technology. This has been helpful too; although the point about my wife’s diary (and my own diary) was not really a point about diaries, just an example of how sometimes the “next step” in evangelism is something really mundane and simple (e.g. having a diary chat). I wasn’t trying to suggest that relying on a diary is the only way to meet this goal – just that in my particular circumstance, that was the next step for me.
Joe, you’ve also moved the discussion on into another area. That’s perfectly OK by me, but I suspect that this particular issue might best be followed through in your discussion on Pete’s post, rather than here, since this issue is closer to the heart of Pete’s post.