Ben, how did you come to Christ?
I had the privilege of growing up as part of a big family with extremely loving and sacrificial parents. I’m a twin and the fourth child of seven. Mum and Dad both spent time in Catholic boarding schools in New Zealand as they grew up, but we were not raised Catholic. The word was written on our census form. We sometimes went to church, but basically I grew up with the worldview of ‘respect-ianity’. Mum and Dad were never ill with affluenza, but were really big on respect—i.e. elders, the laws, doing the right thing. They are wonderful, unique people.
I didn’t think about Jesus much until age 18. I finished high school and travelled from rural Lake Hume, NSW, to go to Melbourne, Victoria, to study Civil Engineering at the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology. It was during this first year of Uni that God grabbed me by the scruff of the neck. He put a question in my head that I was obsessed with answering. This was it: “I live in a nation that enjoys social security, a fair legal system and equitable taxation which seems to be derived from our Christian heritage. I enjoy all this but I have no idea what a Christian is. I need to answer this question ‘What is a Christian?’”
So I started investigating. I got a free Bible from a Christian group at Uni and started reading it. I figured that to find out about Christianity, I needed to find out about Jesus Christ. I read the Bible most nights for about an hour and learnt two things:
- God made me and wanted me to be with him in heaven for eternity
- I clearly deserved to go to hell—I’d been treating God as an irrelevance—I was going to cop it … and I knew I deserved it 100%.
It was at the time that I met a bloke called Rhys (Melbourne Uni, AFES worker). He came to my college and discussed the Gospel of Mark with me. We met weekly for months, but I still didn’t get it. How could a willing deserter be welcomed into God’s army? I couldn’t work it out. In the summer of 1988/89, Rhys invited me to a six-day conference run by AFES. I loved it but still didn’t get the role Christ played in ‘Christ’-ianity. I travelled home for the summer to Lake Hume. In January 1989, Rhys rang and asked me to write a report about the conference from a non-Christian’s point of view. I agreed and sat down one hot summer’s day in the granny flat I inhabited beside my parents’ home and started writing.
I began writing as a non-Christian and about 200 words in, God the Father turned my lights on: at last the searching was over, the constant fear of death subsided. God helped me to ‘get’ Christianity—to ‘get’ the Cross. On the cross, Jesus went to hell instead of me. At last I understand the great exchange—the swap—the sacrifice—the substitution. I felt a tremendous relief: it was like the time the doctors put my dislocated shoulder back in. It was palpable, deep relief from the exhaustion of anti-God anxiety.
From that day on, all I’ve wanted to do is pass on this treasure to others that they may see how superb Jesus is and that they may feel the relief.
How do you occupy your time?
I try to listen to God a lot (i.e. read the Bible). I try to spend a lot of time thanking God for stuff and asking him to make earth mirror heaven (i.e. I pray).
I spend lots of time getting to know my wife Emma (1 Pet 3:7). She is an incredibly Christlike person. I love being married to her. I also spend lots of time growing my four children in the knowledge and discipline of the Lord (Eph 6:4). We do memory verses and Bible reading, and I train them to fight, be wise, use the lawn mower, notice liars, etc.
I also work as Director of the Ministry Training Strategy (MTS). MTS seeks to obey the Great Commission by being dedicated to the 10% vision for Australia. We pray daily that God would save 1 in 10 Australians. We also seek to raise up 10,000 ministry apprentices by 2020 to carry out this massive job.
Tell us a bit about your other interests.
I love Aussie Rules (played it a lot), physical training, SAS novels and the surf. I’m looking forward to a few things in glory:
- swimming the English Channel
- a Toyota Hi Lux Ute
- seeing Calvin’s Geneva.
What are some books that really helped you grow as a Christian?
- A Fresh Start by John Chapman—helped me grow in the really early stages.
- Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God by JI Packer—helped me deal with anxiety of feeling responsible for people going to hell.
- Is the New Testament History? by Paul Barnett.
- Postcard from Palestine by Andrew Reid—I didn’t grow up exegeting anything much. Andrew’s book gave me a great grounding in Bible reading.
What are you reading now?
- Evangelism Feminism: A new path to Liberalism by Wayne Grudem.
- The Word became Fresh: How to preach from Old Testament Narrative texts by Dale Ralph Davis. (Old Testament narrative is my favourite genre.)
What books would you recommend as must-reads right now?
- The Institutes of the Christian Religion by John Calvin. How brilliant are these volumes in explaining the blessings Christ won and how it is that we get access to those blessings. He is the great theologian of the Holy Spirit.
- The Selected Works of D Broughton Knox.
- Liberating Ministry from the Success Syndrome by Kent and Barbara Hughes. Good antidote to the ever present ministry obsession with numbers.
What would your friends say are your hobby horses?
- The need for pastors to keep the important ahead of the urgent (e.g. evangelism is more important than building maintenance).
- The need for men to take initiative.
- Appropriate roles for men and women in ministry. I care about this because the real issue is appropriate roles for men and women in families.
What’s something that makes you angry?
I hate affluenza, acceptable sins (in fact, all sins) and soft blokes—the kind who still live at home with mummy at age 25—the kind of blokes who, when they get married, move from the care of one woman to the care of another.
Who are some people who inspire you?
Rhys Bezzant and Col Marshall inspire me. They’ve both been Christians for a long time, and what impresses me about them is:
- They’re both quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
- They both have the training DNA: they’re always equipping new generations of believers.
- They’re both keen to submit to the word of God.
- They’re both astounded to this day that God showed them grace in Christ.
What does your ideal day off look like?
- Get up early with the kids.
- Do some odd jobs around the house and involve the kids—for example, making rabbit house, chop down tree, etc. Kids love it.
- Have cuppa with Emma and read a bit of Bible.
- We all jump in car and go to beach for late arvo. Do some body boarding with kids and commando training.
- Have a nice dinner at home. Pray with the kids, read the Bible with kids, put the kids to bed.
- Em and I watch a DVD (episode of Scrubs, The West Wing or a documentary).
- Em and I chat a bit, and then lights out.
Give us your top five “Bucket List”
Here’s five things I’d love to do before I kick the bucket (with God’s help of course):
- The six-foot track marathon (Katoomba).
- Compete in a 5 km fun run with all four kids.
- Do a triathlon with Emma.
- Raise up 10,000 ministry apprentices by 2020.
- Not bring disgrace on Jesus.
Ben,
Just because I never really lived anywhere between my leaving my folks’ house and getting married doesn’t mean I am soft (don’t think you meant to put it like that).
Cheers
Hamish
Ben,
You hate guys who live at home when they are 25? Care to elaborate on that at all?
Adam
Mk 10:6: “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
I guess there are soft, Mummy’s boys out there somewhere, but it seems a bit of a flippant remark for Ben to make. After all, there is a fair argument to suggest that leaving mummy and getting married to a woman is one of the reasons for marriage (there are plenty more, I know …). Isn’t that one of the things that Jesus is saying in Mark 10:6-8?
And yes, I did leave home and get married at 25!
Methinks that either:
Or you’re making a coordinated, cunning and subtly satirical joke of your own about the over-sensitivity of 25-year-old guys who live with their mummies …?![wink](http://solapanel.org/exp/images/smileys/wink.gif)
Hi there fellas. Sorry I’ve taken so long to respond.
Hamish, thanks for your comment. You make a very valid and wise point i.e. that not all men who move from their parents home to their marriage pad are soft. It is not a universal rule I agree . . . but gee it happens a lot. I’ve worked as an overseer of men between the ages of 17-24 for about 15 years now and there are very few, very, very, few exceptions. Perhaps I was rash to make a blanket statement about softness, but then again perhaps blanket statements are ok sometimes. Paul makes a blanket statement about Cretans in Titus 1:12-13. It sounds pretty damning, yet according to Titus 1:5 there must be some good eggs in the Cretan Carton because Paul wants some of them appointed as elders. Hamish, I don’t want to write off or mock home dwelling but I do want to warn them of the potential problems. (see below).
Adam,
G’day. Thanks for your comment and your kind request for clarification. You did slightly misquote me. I said, “I hate affluenza, acceptable sins (in fact, all sins) and soft blokes—the kind who still live at home with mummy at age 25” I think the words “the kind” make a difference. So to elaborate. Do I hate soft blokes? Yes in many ways I do. I hate Adam for being soft, for not opening his cake hole, for not taking responsibility and for not protecting his wife Eve, when she took green grocer poison (Genesis 3:6). But I also love Adam (or would if he was still alive today). Now as I write the above I feel very nervous. God can love and hate someone perfectly, he is H-O-L-Y. I don’t EVER encourage myself, or others, to walk around hating people. I’m so riddled with sin, that I know any hatred I feel will be so U-N-H-O-L-Y that is isn’t funny. So I concentrate on loving people. I pray daily for the ‘fruit of the spirit’ especially ‘love’ but in the same breath hate those who call the ‘north’ of God’s compass ‘south’ i.e. people like those mentioned in Proverbs 6:16-19.
Michael,
Thanks mate for our comment. You are dead right. Getting married is one of the reasons for leaving home. The bloke leaves so as to start a new family unit / line. He leaves his own home to take up the role as leader of the new household, he leaves to take up the mantle, to be leader (Eph 5:23), washer of their wife in the word (Eph 5:25-28), protector (Eph 5:29) and trainer of children (Eph 6:4). That is not what is happening today.
Wally,
Thanks to you also brother for your comment. I think you were a bit harsh on your three brothers – but I’m sure we’ll all get over it pretty quickly as we compartmentalise this conversation from others (a great bloke trait).
Dangers,
What are the problems with staying home until 25? Here’s a few thoughts:
1. Leadership – you don’t learn to be ultimately reposnsible. You don’t have to reconnect the phone because the bill didn’t get paid etc. In some cultures you can live in your parents home and still be delegated this responsibility (like a mate of mine who is from Syria), but for most Westerners it is the complete opposite. Therefore when you move out to get married, you don’t lead well for a long time, you’ve got training wheels on.
2. Budgetting – when you move out you have to watch the pennies because there is no financial safety net (Mum & Dad).
3. Resolving issues with people who aren’t family. This happens when you share a house with peers. You have to face up to your own foibles e.g. telling white lies or being a triangulating gossip.
4. Basic Maintenance Responsibilites – being ultimately responsible to ensure key maintenance tasks are carried out e.g. mowing the lawns and reading the Bible.
I hope all of the above makes sense fellas.
Benny
Fair cop, Benjo.
Apologies, Hamish, Adam & Michael, if you were offended by my comment.