A Lead Balloon
MEMO: To all staff
FROM: The company directors
Our latest management research suggests that work isn’t everything. The best employee is a well-rounded employee, and so that you can become the best employee possible, we are taking positive steps to encourage you to balance out the different aspects of your life—your family life, leisure time, physical, cultural and spiritual well-being. Outlined below is a lifestyle programme which we feel will achieve the best results for you … and for us.
1. Leisure: seek a relaxing workout
Here’s an easy-to-follow plan for using your leisure time most efficiently. If you work hard at carrying out this programme, we guarantee you a well-balanced and productive outcome. You might even be the ‘Most Relaxed Employee of the Month’.
Attitude is everything when it comes to maximising your leisure resources. An effective relaxation regime will only succeed if you work at it. Push yourself to keep at it until you are well and truly relaxed. No need to get worked up about it; just do it. Find a leisure activity that works for you, then stick to it slavishly. A workable resting routine is essential for a healthy career.
Getting out of the office is the key. Why not try some power walking or aerobics in your lunch-hour? Or hop on a weights machine. Adjust the workload to suit you.
When you head back to the office, have a low calorie drink (the lower your calories, the more you will feel relaxed about your weight). Open up your briefcase. Get out a file of your favourite paperwork. Relax with it for an hour or so.
2. Home work
At home, you should work on your relationship with your spouse for at least an hour a day. (S)He will feel happier if (s)he knows that you are putting some effort into it. Remember, a relationship that works well is always hard slog.
Also make sure your children keep up with their homework. That way, you will manage to fit in some quality family time and work out what will be the most beneficial use of this time.
3. Work at your cultural development
Look at a work of art for at least five minutes a day. Consider the work that went into it. Consider the time it took to paint. Marvel at the effective use of brushstrokes. Be amazed by how big it is, and the fact that our great company managed to purchase it from The Louvre. (If you have the working capital, buy some art. It pays well over the years.)
You might try your hand at a bit of art yourself—its therapeutic value is well documented. Have a go at painting. If the painting you are working on doesn’t work out, then abandon it. It’s not worth pursuing anything that doesn’t have a profitable outcome. You know our motto: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it; if it ain’t working, throw it out”.
4. Spiritual life—working yourself out
No one can tell you what sort of spirituality is right for you. Everyone must work it out for themselves. However, we suggest that answers can be sought somewhere in the midst of The Protestant Work Ethic, The Works of Guatama Buddha, Loyola’s Spiritual Exercises, Mother Teresa’s work with the poor in India and the company’s vision statement. Seek a spirituality which works in well with your lifestyle.
As the well-rounded employee, you will become an even more valuable asset to the company. The effort required will be more than rewarded. Trust us. After all, we are the ones who have taught you that there’s more to life than work.
