Recently a friend of mine was about to commence ministry as a rector at an Anglican parish. His great idea was to ask some friends who were already rectors for advice before he made the big move: What would you not do again? What would you definitely do again? What are some easy mistakes you made or almost made? Any words from the wise?
This certainly got me thinking about what I have learned over a few years as a rector. And in the hope and prayer that it may help a few Briefing readers to know some of the struggles of a rector and prompt them perhaps to think through how they can support their pastors I reproduce my thoughts to my friend here.
In terms of God …
- The big encouragement is to know God has prepared you for this and will be with you always, and his power is greater than any problem we may face;
- God is sovereign. It is his work. So you need to keep praying (this probably goes top of the list of things I must keep doing but find hard);
- God has his people everywhere, and many of them want to help and are keen and able. Give thanks for them, get to know them and encourage them (I think I would have worked harder at this in my first year or so—it is hard playing catch up). Be aware of their problems and pressures, and how to respond in a godly way to all these;
- Remember the wonder and joy of God’s forgiveness when you sin/fail/make mistakes;
- God is at work in the lives of others, and it is wonderful to look back and see how people have grown.
In terms of my own relationship with God …
- I find it hard staying personally close to God in the midst of so much busyness (not helped by being task-oriented); the basics of daily prayer and Bible study are so important;
- I need to work at being diligent in my own time with God, and not just treating my Bible reading as possible sermon material;
- I want to grow in my relationship with God, and so I must sit under the authority of God’s word and let it impact me as I prepare sermons, and avoid being a ‘professional’ speaker.
It is hard to …
- Keep a focus on outreach, and God’s wider mission, and easy to instead become inward—looking (as a congregation), and this can easily cause problems;
- Keep caring for the long-term members (it is very easy to take them for granted and not love or thank them enough) and not just for the newcomers;
- Manage my time. This is far more of a problem than I ever imagined, and each year gets worse. It is so important to use the diary well. I feel like a juggler with too many balls in the air—I never actually catch any of them. Someone said recently we need to do less things but do them better. I think this is true, but very hard. It was easier as an assistant minister with limited areas of responsibility. As the rector I feel I need to have a finger on what is going on everywhere, even though I am very happy to delegate (another great skill to acquire!). There are so many good things to do: perhaps I try to push the parish too hard in too many directions all at once, and need to focus rather on a couple of areas each year (I’m told the Natural Church Development model tries to do this);
- Work with staff. I’m not sure I’ve got the balance right between letting them do their thing and keeping an eye on them; and between being ‘the boss’, being partners in ministry and being friends;
- Maintain some sort of presence and face in the local community, without spending all my time on committees, etc;
- Catch up with people who work a long way from their homes (and therefore from me), when there are only so many nights you can be out (amongst PC meetings, courses, training, etc);
- Think strategically and long-term in the midst of so many urgent and important short term things;
- Constantly think ahead;
- Deal with lack of encouragement and affirmation from others; whilst trying to encourage and affirm others (although being thankful for others works wonders for overcoming my own negativity).
Other issues …
- Guard your day off (find one which works well for you and your wife, and the kids if possible) and ensure people in the parish know when it is (generally people want me to have one—sometimes they just forget when it is);
- Guard your relationship with your wife and spend time with her;
- Watch temptation, especially if you work from home a lot and your wife is out working;
- Try to get Parish Council thinking ministry: we have consciously put a ministry item on top of the agenda each month, and invited a representative from a ministry area along each month to share what they are doing. I find it hard to stop Parish Council being just a talk-fest rather than an action-initiator. Try and encourage ministry-minded people onto Parish Council who are good thinkers and not just ‘yes-people’.
- One of the hardest things is constantly having to produce a sermon each week (or most weeks), and back up every Sunday. You no sooner get through the deadline of one Sunday, and the next one starts straight away. There is no ‘down time’ as such. I wonder about talking to some wiser, older, more experienced men who can help me grapple with this;
- Denominationally, our bishop is a wonderful man, but in 3.7 years I have only had a bishop ring me once (or twice?) to pastorally follow me up. It seems for them no news is good news. This all makes ministry quite lonely, so find some mates to catch up with once/twice a term. I also meet monthly with the local ministers (Fraternal), and separately with the ministers from the nearest 3 Anglican churches (sort of a mini-deanery).
My final encouragement to my friend was that I knew he had the gifts to be a great rector. He is a caring pastor, a good Bible teacher, a godly man/husband/father, and more so I know God will use him in his new parish as he stays close to our Lord Jesus. I hope God’s people in his new parish encourage him—he is part of God’s gift to them, and they to him!
