Three studies for small groups
Natasha Langford is a student worker in Melbourne, Australia.
These studies can be used by anyone wishing to explore the Bible’s teaching on homosexuality. They may be especially useful for people dealing with same-sex attraction and seeking to understand God’s word on sexuality, suffering and sin. Following the studies you will find notes for group leaders to help them with the logic of the studies.
Study 1: The Bible on sexuality
Let’s consider a range of Bible passages on sexuality in general. Read the passage mentioned and answer the questions.
- Why does God create woman?
- What sort of relationship do the man and woman have?
- What happens before marriage takes place?
- Which verses from the Genesis passage does Jesus quote?
- How does he use them to respond to the question about divorce?
- What are the limits that Jesus places on sexual expression?
- Why do some people not marry?
- Can we learn anything about homosexuality from this passage?
Genesis 2:18-25
Keep your place in Genesis and open up to Matthew 19:3-12
- How do the man and woman describe one another?
- What kind of attitude toward sexuality does the author have?
Song of Songs 4:1-7, 5:10-16
- What’s the stated purpose of these Levitical laws?
- How were the people surrounding the Israelites behaving?
- What are the stated consequences for ignoring God?
- Count up the laws given.
How many concern homosexual acts?
What proportion is this? - How does homosexuality fit into God’s lawgiving in general?
Leviticus 20 (read the whole chapter)
- What, according to Paul, is the source of all wrongdoing/sin?
- In what ways does sin manifest itself?
- What kind of sexual sin is described here?
- Why does God give people over to sexual sin?
- What effect does sexual sin have on the body? (v.24, 27; cf. 1 Cor 6:18)
Romans 1:18-32
Sum up:
What is your overall impression of the Bible’s guidelines for sexuality? Can you summarize it in a sentence or two?
Further reading:
1 Corinthians 6:9-20
Study 2: Why isn’t everyone heterosexual?
- Look briefly at what these passages teach about sources of sin and suffering in general. Summarise what they say about sin:
- Exodus 20:5
- Psalm 107:17-22
- Mark 9:42
- John 9:1-3
- Romans 8:18-22
- James 1:12-17
- Establish which verses belong in the following categories:
- Sin affecting all of creation
- Sins of other people
- Individual sin
- Discuss which “categories” of sin and suffering underpin the following causes of same sex desire. There may be more than one for each paragraph:
(This information has been drawn from the author’s personal and pastoral experience, and background reading. A list of resources is included in the leader’s notes.)
Genetic influences
It is not unbiblical to believe that genetic/pre-natal influences could be a factor in causing homosexuality. The likely cause of inconclusive research in this area is that a range of factors are involved in the development of sexuality.
Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse experienced during childhood and/or adolescence corrupts and confuses the process of learning sexuality. An outworking of this can be homosexual desires and/or behaviour. Some teenagers are led into homosexual activity by an adult.
Rigid definition of gender roles and behaviour
Think back to school. Was there a boy teased for being effeminate or a girl called “butch”? Why did students use these labels? What sort of effect did it have? If you were the person teased you will know all too well.
Labels are hurtful and they can lead to a questioning of sexuality that may never otherwise have taken place. Name-calling and labelling are unlikely to be the only factors involved in the development of a homosexual orientation, but in combination with other influences they can be very destructive.
Societal influences and choice
Postmodernism and feminism have changed societal attitudes to sexuality. Sexuality and relationships usually centre on doing ‘what’s right for you’. The other person in a relationship/sexual encounter is reduced to a commodity, existing to meet the needs of the self. God’s guidelines for relationships are ignored and others treated as far less than beings created in the image of God. Homosexual behaviour is one option that people may ‘try’ to see if it meets their needs. Similarly, exposure to different media, particularly pornography and pro-gay literature can influence the development of homosexual orientation.
Family influences
The most common factor found amongst homosexual people is that they are still looking for emotional care and nurture they missed out on as children, usually from the parent of the same sex. At some point intimacy and sexuality have been confused, and desires for parental nurture are sought sexually later in life. For example, it is rare to find a homosexual man with an involved, emotionally connected father.
Sometimes the home situation was abusive; sometimes the problem is caused by the child’s perception of his/her parents. Children are especially vulnerable emotionally at different stages and it is possible for problems to arise even in good homes. In adulthood, some homosexuals will continue in emotionally unhealthy relationships with one or both parents, characterised by the reversal or corruption of parent-child roles.
Biblically understood, homosexuals are amongst a larger group of people who are unable to marry successfully because they have not yet “left father and mother”. It’s almost impossible to leave the nurture and care of parents and move into adult relationships if legitimate childhood needs have never been met. Holes left in emotional development need to be met in godly ways.
One Christian who has struggled with homosexuality reflects on his background…
…not all factors stem from my family. There were many complicated side issues at different stages, involving my notoriously introvert personality, a relatively strongly developed feminine side (always having been kind of artistic…), being bullied at school, and others. I believe the main point was rooted in my father’s emotional absence and inability to get involved with basically anyone, due to the tragic death of his own father.
Final reflection
Read and briefly discuss Psalm 68:1-6
Study 3: What can I do? How can my church help?
Sexual struggle is common amongst Christians. Sexuality is deeply personal and usually a private matter. As a result the problems of individual church members often go unnoticed and unaddressed. Many people, both single and married, experience attraction to both genders in varying intensity.
- Look over your notes from Study 2. What might be the needs of people who experience same sex desires?
- Write down the kinds of emotions a Christian struggling with sexuality issues might experience:
- Have you experienced any of these emotions? Which ones? Are some of the emotions foreign to you?
- Are there any issues you might need to think through so you could better support someone who is struggling with same-sex attraction?
- How can we as the body of Christ support one another, especially those struggling with homosexual attractions? Consider these passages:
- James 5:13-20
- Galatians 6:1-2
- 1Thess 2:7b-8
- From this passage, what do we learn about the backgrounds of some of the people in the Corinthian church?
- On what basis can sinful human beings have an inheritance in the kingdom of God? Explain your answer.
- How does this passage offer hope to all Christians, including
those struggling with homosexuality? - Take a moment to mentally underline the sins listed in this passage that you struggle with.
- Are some people more pleasing to God than others? Why/why not?
- Imagine you are explaining the good news about Jesus to an openly homosexual neighbour, and are referring to Romans as you speak. How would you explain Romans 3:23-24 to him/her?
- Is a discussion about sexuality a good starting point when you share your faith?
- Discuss your response to the following two scenarios. How do you respond to John/Katherine’s revelation? What kinds of questions might you ask? Would you suggest s/he talk to others? Who could be appropriate?
Hope for change
Read 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.
Read Romans 8:18-27
Reaching out
How do I share my faith in Christ with someone I definitely know to be gay/lesbian?
Read Romans 1:18-32.
Scenario:
John
You’ve just started attending a different church. It’s slightly “clique-y”, and you’ve been getting to know another newcomer, John. John is very friendly, but a bit of a mystery man with regard to his background. The two of you often chat after church and a friendship develops. A few months after first meeting, you’re giving him a lift home from the annual church camp when he confides some surprising information.
He is gay. He has returned to church following the break up of a two-year relationship because he wants to reconnect with the faith he had as a child and teenager. He is afraid that people at church might reject him if they knew.
Katherine
Katherine is in her early 20s and has been going to your church for her whole life. She’s a mature Christian and until recently was very involved in the ministry of the church. Last year she was engaged to be married, but broke it off suddenly. She refused to discuss the situation with anyone and has withdrawn from many church activities.
You’re concerned about her apparent withdrawal and organize to catch up sometimes for coffee. After a few meetings she begins to give you a window into what’s been happening. As the engagement had progressed last year she had been more and more troubled by memories of sexual abuse from her childhood. She says she feels nothing but anger towards men, and is worried that the sexual attraction she now recognises in her reactions to some women means that she’s a lesbian and “will be lonely for the rest of her life”.
Leader’s notes
These leaders notes are designed to give some extra help in answering questions and to give more background/clarification to the questions asked in the study material.
A few extra comments additional to the studies:
The problem of labelling
When the words “homosexual” or “homosexuality” are used in these studies, they refer to same sex desire or those who experience same-sex desire. People may label themselves as gay, lesbian, queer, bisexual, or something else. Many would choose not to put any label on their activity/desires.
The language used in the studies does not indicate that they are only about those who experience same sex desire exclusively, nor is it suggesting (for example) that lesbians don’t exist. Words have been chosen for the sake of convenience and clarity.
Pastoral issues
Lead these studies assuming that at least one person in your group may struggle with desiring the same sex, even if everyone in the group is married! Marriage does not ‘guarantee’ that a person is exclusively heterosexual. And you can’t know everything about any other human!
When talking about sexuality it is easy to fall into joking and unwise, potentially hurtful, comments. As the leader/s you will have an important role to play in keeping conversations on track and giving a godly example in the way that you speak.
Notes on Study 1: The Bible on sexuality
Major discussions/controversies about the historicity of Genesis, hierarchies, what the word ‘helper’ really means, etc, would be better tackled at another time and with other study material!
Genesis 2:18-25
Why does God create woman? It is not good for Adam to be alone. None of the animals is suitable as a partner for him.
What sort of relationship do the man and woman have? Made of the same flesh, yet different. They have a deeply intimate “one flesh” relationship where both can be “naked but not ashamed”.
What happens before marriage takes place? The man leaves his parents. He moves from dependency on them to enjoying a new relationship with his wife.
Matthew 19:3-12
How does he use them to respond to the question about divorce? Jesus is pointing people to the pattern set by God at the beginning of time: marriage is permanent and exclusive. Marriage is not a structure for some times and cultures, it is intended for all time.
What are the limits that Jesus places on sexual expression? Marriage is permanent and exclusive. Jesus uses the word “eunuch” (i.e. people rendered biologically incapable of marrying) to describe those who remain single, indicating that there ought not be sexual activity outside of marriage.
Why do some people not marry? Some have been made that way by others (important to bear in mind for Study 2), some have a birth defect and some forgo marriage for the sake of the kingdom of God. God limits sexual expression to marriage, but there is no expectation that all will marry, nor is marriage promoted over singleness.
Can we learn anything about homosexuality from this passage? Jesus affirms lifelong marriage as the place for “one flesh” relationships. Homosexuality is not affirmed, or even mentioned.
Leviticus 20
What’s the stated purpose of these Levitical laws? Verses 7 and 26. The Israelites are God’s special chosen people; they are to live according to his guidelines, distinct from those living around.
How were the people surrounding the Israelites behaving? Sacrificing children to their god Molech. God’s regulations for the Israelites are not random or capricious. In this instance the reasons for difference from the practices of other nations is clearly designed for their good. v.26
What are the stated consequences for ignoring God? Death penalty, God sets his face against them, cuts them off from their nation
How does homosexuality fit into God’s lawgiving in general? It is one aspect of where sin has ruined the created order.
Count up the laws given: 17
How many concern homosexual acts? 1
What kind of proportion is this? 6% (more or less!)
What does this suggest? Your group may come up with slightly different stats. In any case the point is clear: homosexual activity is but one of many sins.
On Levitical laws
Some members of your group may ask questions about the validity of Old Testament law. To read further on this see Michael Hill’s The Why and How of Love: An Introduction to Christian Ethics.
The rest of this study examines New Testament passages that reaffirm the Levitical laws about homosexuality, so in this instance it is less crucial to come up with a neat answer about if/how the Old Testament laws are to be followed by believers today.
Song of Songs 4:1-7, 5:10-16
How do the man and woman describe one another?
What kind of attitude toward sexuality does the author have? Focus on the author’s positive attitude to sex itself.
Romans 1:18-32
What, according to Paul is the source of all wrongdoing/sin? Humans choose to suppress the truth about God, by ignoring evidence in creation that He exists. For this reason, God gives people over to sinful behaviour.
In what ways does sin manifest itself? Verse 21-32
What kind of sexual sin is described here? Verses 26-28
Why does God give people over to sexual sin? They have ignored God and made their own idols (vv. 21-23)
What effect does sexual sin have on the body? (vv. 24, 27; cf. 1 Cor 6:18) It degrades the body (v. 24) Incidentally, verse 27 does not necessarily support the theory that AIDS is God’s judgement against homosexuality. Rather, it seems that Paul sees homosexual acts in and of themselves as being the penalty.
1 Corinthians 6:18 indicates that sexual sin damages one’s own body. Unlike other sins where you may harm someone else and “benefit” in the process (eg. stealing results in gaining material wealth), sexual sin will harm all involved.
Sum up:
What is your overall impression of the Bible’s guidelines for sexuality? Scripture consistently teaches that sexual expression should take place within marriage between a man and woman. Other forms of sexual expression are against God’s purposes and are harmful for those who take part in them.
There has been a ‘revisionist’ movement that believes that the Bible sanctions same sex relationships. Thomas Schmidt’s Straight and Narrow provides a biblically insightful critique of revisionist arguments.
Notes on Study 2: Why isn’t everyone heterosexual?
Summarize what these verses teach about causes of sin and suffering…
Exodus 20:5 Children suffer the consequences of the sins of their parents.
Psalm 107:17-22 People suffer because of their own sins.
Mark 9:42 One person can lead another into sin.
John 9:1-3 People may suffer for no immediately apparent reason.
Romans 8:20-22 Sin in creation affects all people.
James 1:12-17 Sin is the result of individuals giving in to temptation.
Establish which verses belong in the following categories
Sin affecting all of Creation: Romans 8:20-22, John 9:1-3
Sins of other people: Exodus 20:5, Mark 9:42
Individual Sin: Psalm 107:17-22, James 1:12-17
Final reflection
Read and briefly discuss Psalm 68:1-6
Two points that are particularly worth drawing out:
- Suffering caused by sexual sin and by those who directly or indirectly lead others into sin matters to God. He is just and will punish sin. (vv. 1-2) God’s judgement shows that he cares deeply about what happens in the world.
- God restores. He places the lonely in families and defends the cause of those who are powerless. (vv. 5-6)
Notes on Study 3: What can I do? How can my church help?
1. Look over your notes from Study 2. What might be the needs of people who experience same sex desires? They are likely to have strong emotional needs that they struggle to understand and control. They may have unresolved issues, with regard to past emotional/sexual abuse. They need healthy role models of the same sex. Many other needs are the same as those of other people.
2. Write down the kinds of emotions a Christian struggling with
sexuality issues might experience: Fear, guilt, loneliness, depression, anger, joy etc…
3. Have you experienced any of these emotions? Which ones? Are some of the emotions foreign to you? It’s easy to think that if a person’s behaviour or orientation is different to your own that there couldn’t be common ground for friendship. Even with varying experiences of life, humans are remarkably similar when it comes to core emotional issues. Everyone experiences fear, guilt, joy, shame etc.
4. Are there any issues you might need to think through so you could better support someone who is struggling? Encourage the group to vocalise and talk through anything they find difficult or hard to understand.
5. How can we as the body of Christ support one another, especially those struggling with sexual sin?
James 5:13-20. Prayer, confession of sins to one another, leading back those who have wandered from the truth.
Galatians 6:1-2. Help each other (bear one another’s burdens), gently restore those who sin whilst guarding that we are not caught up in the sin ourselves.
1 Thess 2:7b-8. Paul, Silas and Timothy cared so much for the Thessalonians that they shared their lives with them. This is a great model for caring for others, that as we share the gospel we share in our everyday joys and difficulties as well.
Hope for change
1 Corinthians 6:9-11
6. From this passage, what do we learn about the backgrounds of some of the people in the Corinthian church? See verse 9.
7. On what basis can sinful human beings have an inheritance in the kingdom of God? Explain your answer. Through Jesus we are all seen as clean, completely sin-free, in God’s eyes. There is no barrier to homosexually active people believing the gospel and being saved. The phrase “What you once were” shows that God transforms as well as saves. Paul exhorted the people in Corinth not to return to the sins they committed before they believed.
God has changed them, and they now have the ability to say no to their former sins and seek to live holy lives.
Romans 8:18-27
8. How does this passage offer hope to all Christians, including
those struggling with homosexuality? Homosexuality is one aspect of life in a sinful and broken world. Yet God will one day return and restore. Particularly he will give us all renewed bodies, in the new, perfected Creation.
Reaching out
How do I share my faith in Christ with someone I definitely know to be gay/lesbian?
Read Romans 1:18-32
9. Take a moment to mentally underline the sins listed in this passage that you struggle with.
10. Are some people more pleasing to God than others? Why/why not? No. All have sinned.
11. Imagine you are explaining the good news about Jesus to an openly homosexual neighbour, and are referring to Romans as you speak. How would you explain Romans 3:23-24 to him/her? All humans fall short of God’s glory. Fallen sexuality is part, but by no means all, of the picture. All people need to be made right with God.
12. Is a discussion about sexuality a good starting point when you share your faith? There’s no right or wrong answer, though it’s rarely a good idea to focus solely on one sin because the sinful nature expresses itself in our lives in many different ways. If the person you are talking with is keen to discuss it then by all means do so!
In all situations evangelism involves explaining who Jesus is, his death for sins and resurrection to eternal life which save us from certain punishment and ensure that we also will have eternal life. The invitation to accept Jesus as saviour and lord is extended to all people, regardless of who they are/what they do.
Scenarios:
Choose one or both scenarios (as time and interest permit).
How do you respond to Katherine’s/John’s revelation? Indicate ongoing acceptance and friendship. Listen carefully. Reassure him/her that you won’t publish what s/he’s told you in the next church newsletter.
If you’re not sure about something don’t say it, or indicate that you’re not sure when you do. Don’t water down what you believe, but be gentle in explaining things that may be confronting. Speak the truth in love.
What kinds of questions might you ask? The following are the beginnings of suggestions for such a situation… be careful not to drill for information!
John
You could find out where he stands spiritually …
What was church like when he was a child?
What is he trying to recapture in returning to church?
Was returning to church what he expected?
Is he sure of his salvation in Christ? etc …
Has he talked to anyone else about this?
How might you/church be able to help him?
Katherine
Is she seeing a counsellor to discuss the past abuse? (Strongly
encourage her to do so. A well-qualified Christian counsellor would
be best.)She’s already flagged loneliness as a problem: how can she
meet her needs for relationships in ways that will be both healthy
and supportive?What (if anything) would make it easier for her to get more involved
in the church community again?Has she talked to anyone else about this?
How might you/church be able to help him?
Would you suggest s/he talk to others? Who could be appropriate? For John this would depend on his priorities and the availability of people who can help. If he has become convicted that he no longer wants to be actively homosexual it would be wise to refer him to a Christian ministry able to deal specifically with such issues. (See resources page.) If there are lingering issues associated with the last relationship or family background/abuse issues then it would be wise to recommend professional counselling.
Katherine would likewise do well to make contact with a Christian ministry able to deal with issues of abuse and lesbianism.
It will be most helpful for them if a few people know their situation
and can support them in friendship and prayer. However, it’s important to respect her/his right to tell only those whom s/he chooses. It’s important not to be the sole person offering support and/or take on problems you are not equipped to deal with.
Resources list
Counselling Services
Melbourne: Purple Heart (Phone: 03 9699 2254)
Sydney: Liberty Christian Ministries (Phone: 02 9897 4685)
Worldwide: The Exodus International web-site has details of ministries across the world. http://www.exodus-international.org/
Books
Christopher Keane (ed), What some of you were (Matthias Media). www.matthiasmedia.com.au.
Thomas Schmidt, Straight and Narrow?.
John Stott, “Homosexual Partnerships?” in Issues Facing Christians Today.
Joe Dallas, Desires in Conflict.
