One of the biggest struggles for many Christians is balancing the demands of work, family and ministry. It can seem impossible to balance the pressures of all three. The common and tempting solution is to simply neglect, or at least accept mediocrity, in one or even two of these areas of our lives.
There will always be practical problems in holding together these three parts of life, but the first port of call in addressing the problem is not practicalities: it’s theology. The more we focus on Christ and being godly, the less a problem we will have. We need the right theology, particularly of work. Let me make the following brief comments on aspects of that theology which I have found to be helpful in trying to hold all the parts of life in balance.
Christ is Lord of all
Don’t compartmentalise your life into three areas. Your ministry is your life. Your family is your ministry. You should see work as a ministry, to some extent. The more you strive to integrate the three, the less tension there is between them.
Expect tension
We live in a fallen world and so work is toil, and marital conflict is inevitable (see Gen 3). This is no excuse to ignore the tension, but it tells us that we should expect it and not naively try to create a lifestyle in which there is no tension.
Work heartily at your job
You are serving God and not men (Col 3:23). Just because you don’t have the same goals and values as your secular workmates and boss is no excuse for slackness. You may be one of the few Christians that your non-Christian workmates will ever meet. For better or worse, much of their impression of Christianity will be based on the quality of your work and of your relationship with them. Don’t dishonour God by laziness or shoddy work, or by being too busy with ‘ministry’ to spend time with them.
God is sovereign
He is the one who will ultimately determine our survival and success at work. Being egocentric, we can think that if we just work those few extra hours and get that extra project done, or get that new client, we will survive or even succeed. However, I find it liberating to know that there are many large factors out of my control (e.g. changes in government, economy or upper management) that can have a far bigger impact on my professional future than whether I write that extra research paper. All this is in God’s hands.
Prayer
Every worker inevitably encounters problems and frustrations, whether it is a software bug, a belligerent employee or losing a client. At best, such problems can waste an hour of our time. At worst, we can lose months or even our jobs. Again, the outcome is in God’s hands. We need to pray and depend on God, using the problem as an opportunity to grow closer to God and see him work. God can increase our efficiency at work to free up adequate time and energy for ministry and family.
Just say no!
The older you get, and the more responsibility you have, the more you will be asked to do. This applies at work, home and church. Set priorities and then say no—even to ministry. You will disappoint people: your boss, your family and the leaders of your church. But if you don’t say no, you won’t survive. I regularly say no.
Delegate
Professor Dexter Dunphy, of the Australian Graduate School of Management, says he can point to ‘very productive’ executives who work no more than a 40-hour week and never take a briefcase home. Then there are others who work a 60-hour week and always take a briefcase home. “I can look at the results and say there is no difference, and a large part of the secret lies in delegation”, he says (Sydney Morning Herald, 17 Feb 1996).
Be wise as serpents
Read worldly wisdom on topics such as time management, mentors and delegation, contained in such books as Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey. Christians should not share many of the godless goals and values contained in such books, but many of the principles can be adapted to help us further the kingdom. A Christian version is Ordering Your Private World by Gordon McDonald. I have found material in some of these books immensely helpful.
Take the long view
Having burnt myself out in the past, I now strive to structure my life to ensure I will be active in ministry many years from now. This means having a balanced life and getting adequate time alone with God, adequate exercise and sleep, and some holidays and fun. I try to adjust my commitments and goals according to my big life transitions (e.g. finishing uni, starting work, getting married, moving overseas or having babies). My wife and I have tried to make hard decisions now and not later. We realise that decisions such as taking a particular job or buying a house or new car all have ramifications for many years which affect how much time, energy and money we have available for the work of God’s kingdom. Again, saying no may be hard in the short term, but best for the long term.
Finally, remember that our ultimate goal is not success, but faithfulness. Many of the ‘greats’ in Hebrews 11 suffered greatly and were worldly failures, but they remained faithful. This is the kind of success which God holds dear.
