“I’d like my baby christened, thank you. Mum and Dad are down from the country next week, so we’d like it done then.”
What do you say in response to that sort of query? One part of us is concerned to uphold the integrity of the Baptism service, and in reality, the gospel. Another part of us wants to establish some sort of relationship within which that gospel can be communicated. A simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ may not be helpful.
One way of dealing with this tension is to offer a third option. We can explore a Thanksgiving/Dedication service.
Such a service could include Scripture readings which deal with God’s attitude to children, and the need for a response to God at an appropriate time. The passages could be explained, sponsors nominated and prayed for, and the child formally named. Prayers could be said which both thank God for the child, and ask for God’s blessings in the future. A small gift could be given to the child.
In this kind of service, parents are not being asked to declare anything they do not believe or practise. There is no implication of local church membership. Thus the service can be conducted ‘privately’. Their vague desire to bring God into the picture at this significant time in their lives is given some expression. The service can be used to bring these vague ideas to a sharper reality.
The parents benefit from all this. But so too does the congregation, who are spared repeated witnessing of apparent public hypocrisy. The pastor-teacher benefits as well; he can conduct a service with a clear conscience while not appearing to reject the parents concerned.
When such a ‘christening’ inquiry is made, a visit can be arranged. The Baptism service is first explained, and if there appears to be a problem with their participation in this service, then the Thanksgiving option is outlined.
The average parent has precious little idea what baptism means (being ordained may not enlighten us much either!). Parents are quite possibly wanting to ‘touch bases’ with a God they sense is involved in new life. By saying no to baptism, as we might feel obliged to do, we can be seen as saying no to them as well.
The Thanksgiving option avoids this. One church which practises this method reports that almost half of the baptismal inquiries end up accepting this option. The parents don’t seem to see it as a second best option, but rather as a more genuine expression of their own status. The attitude of the pastor-teacher is important in ensuring this isn’t seen as a second-class service.
Some inquirers may wonder about whether such a service makes the child an Anglican; or whether their future confirmation is thrown in doubt; or whether God would mind if they chose not to have their child baptised. Such questions can be the springboard to some useful discussions. We can point out that water splashed on a baby’s forehead isn’t the key to friendship with God;or that being an Anglican is not a matter of eternal significance; or that reality matters more than ritual in God’s eyes.
Thanksgiving/Dedication services are one way of getting ritual and reality together.
